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“I’ve thought about things a lot after we talked on Thursday. I realize I’m still trying to be all things to everyone. I know Tiffany and Molly want to do wild things and try stuff they’ve missed out. I’m trying to be that person for them. I know Katelyn wants to feel like she’s more than just a friend we keep around so no one calls us racist. I’m trying to be that for her even though race has nothing to do with it. In some ways I guess I view you as an interloper – or maybe as a threat to my popularity within our crowd. I’m not sure and I don’t know if a thousand hours on a psychologist’s couch would help me understand it. I know it’s ridiculous. If you had wanted to keep our friends to yourself, you could have done it last month. All you’d have had to do was explain to them that they could be friends with you or me but not both and I’d have been left to hang out with Chelsea and Alexandra again.“So I spent most of Thursday night and all of Friday morning thinking about what I want.. .. but hearing it might thrill me to the bone ... I can avert my eyes. My offer stands: you make the snap noise with him - either arm is fine with me - and I am yours for the night. Anything! Look, the next time I go to church I will have to stand and confess my sins of the flesh to all. I will be declared a sinner, hopefully one worthy of redemption, but for now my engagement to dear Eli, the minister’s son, is over. No man of the church will have me until I am cleansed - a long process with prayer and sacrifice and penance. Plus, it is not a sure thing, I could be shunned instead. Cast out. Since I am willing and since I am already spoiled I can skip church tomorrow and be totally free for once. One week. My conscious is clear, I will be a total slut for you.”Jack’s eyes were now darting around, frantic, looking for some opening. His rib, his arm and now his precious jewels were on offer and he did not see a good way out. He could talk, but as long as Erin was there, I was not going.
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